Wednesday, 29 August 2012

Unsticking the Stuck

NLP MasterCLASS Practice Groups next meeting, Thursday 6 September 2012 this months focus is on unsticking the stuck; or what do you do if what you’re doing doesn’t work …..

One of the keys to being a great coach, therapist, teacher or trainer is behavioral flexibility. Wouldn't it be great if all clients were motivated, compliant and able to follow process instructions. If they could then there would never be any difficult clients or case studies would there? Have you ever had a client or even found yourself motivated, with well-formed outcomes having done an ecology check and yet still not making progress? What do you do then?

I remember vividly from my NLP Training, first on the Practitioner and then on the Master Practitioner Dr Richard Bandler telling us “if what you are doing isn’t working do something else”.

Over the years I have helped thousands achieve their goals and love the different ways in which humans manage to process information.

I recently worked with a cage fighter with a phobia of vegetables.

Fit, healthy, six foot four male, quite happy to fight another man bare knuckled in a cage and yet couldn’t be in the same room as vegetables with out having an overwhelming urge to run away.

He had already been to see a cognitive behavioural therapist, hypnotherapist and NLP Practitioner. Apparently nothing they suggested worked. The cognitive behavioural therapist wanted him to use diversion techniques, the hypnotist used positive suggestions and hypnotic desensitisation whilst the NLP Practitioner tried the NLP fast phobia cure. Each told him they had the answer but only tried one approach, and that didn’t work.

Experience has taught me its not always a case of what technique to use for what problem, it may be that a combination of things are needed by the person you are coaching. The more experience and skills you have combined with how flexible you are in your responses equals the most success with your clients.

So how do you generate the state your client needs to move into action? Steve Crabb and I have developed a unique approach to coaching incorporating elements from NLP (Richard Bandler, Virginia Satir & Robert Dilts) & Frank Farelley’s Provocative Therapy.

I know that some of you may be thinking provocative? There are many meanings to this word and how you provoke is of prime importance. You could if not careful annoy, irritate, insult or offend to name but a few emotions connected to being provoked.

On the other hand you can also arouse, evoke, cause, elicit, induce, spark, generate, prompt what you client needs to achieve their goals.

Provocation is essential in coaching, it can be used to motivate, challenge belief systems and move people into action. It will help the stuck to become unstuck, the un-motivated to get going and will give any coach, therapist, teacher or trainer a unique approach to go into their tool box for whenever what they normally do isn’t working.

At the next meeting of the Practice Group, I’ll be demonstrating and sharing with you ways in which you can incorporate this with your clients.

Over the years whilst assisting on Dr Bandlers courses in the USA and UK I have often heard students ask “how do we know what technique to use?” The response is always the best technique to use is the one that works followed by and if what you are doing doesn’t work do something else.

Check out for details on our next meeting and to book your place.