Sunday, 31 December 2017

The most frequent question I see people asking on social media is .......

The most frequent question I am asked and see being asked on Social Media is “What is the technique I need to use for X?”  (Insert here a variety of problems from curing a phobia to stopping addictions to dealing with depression)

This is usually asked by newly certified Practitioners who are keen to use their skills and help others achieve their goals; some of these are just beginning to create a new career as an NLP Practitioner and or Coach.

What are problems?

There are problems with problems, sounds silly I know but if you take that statement literally the major problem with problems is that they force us into thinking that something is wrong.  When in reality the problematic result that we get is the right result for that particular strategy. 

So what is a problem?  A problem is a result, an achievement that is different from what you wanted, or the difference between where you are now and where you want to be.

Most of us have been trained from a very early age to respond to problems by avoiding them, learning to move away from them, which is very different from moving towards our goals. 

Identifying what makes the problem a problem; in a very different way through their perceptual filters – their model of the world, and being able to identify their meta programs, is a great way to start identifying what they can do to make the changes their desire.

The first thing important in solving any problem is knowing their role in the problem.  What did they do that created that result? 

Those of you who have attended a Society of NLP Practitioner training will recognise this as the Present State.

One of the things Dr Richard Bandler asks people when demonstrating techniques at the seminars is “If I’m going to do this for you for a day, give you a day off from your problems, what do I have to do?”

He gets the strategy from them that created the problem he can then help them change by changing and installing a new strategy.

When working with clients I begin by getting this information from them.

a. What do they want?   Stated in the positive, so many people can happily tell you what they don’t want.  I don’t want to feel this way, I want to stop smoking, eating too much etc etc etc.  Time to coach them into discovering what they want instead.

b. What resources do they have to accomplish this?  If not currently within their control, what do they need to do to make it so?   To be well formed their goal needs to be something within their control. 

c. How will they know when they have it?  What will you see, hear, feel etc? Are they able to establish their goal in all sensory based systems?  Can they imagine/ see themself achieving their goal? 

d. What will happen when they get this result, how will it affect their life, family, career etc?   Check to preserve the positive intention of the present state, that it is ecologically sound and good for them to achieve.

This information will give me strategies, meta programs, rep systems, language patterns, beliefs and values and from here I can begin to teach them how they can make the changes they want and achieve their goals.

On more than one occasion I have heard Dr Bandler’s response to the question “What technique should I use when helping someone with X (various problems have been mentioned here) his response is always the same.  The one that works.

By paying attention to client and the information given it makes it so easy to know what to do next.
It also makes giving advice on social media when asked what do I do when working with someone with depression almost impossible; as the how to proceed depends on the individual.

How do you get good at this, practice, practice and practice some more.

The next practice group in London is 20 January at Regents College more details can be found here